I hated kindergarten, I was kind of a shy kid (Still am now) so I got bullied a lot back then. I also hated having to learn dumb stuff like, you know shapes, (Ew) and colors (Gross).
So one day I started formulating a plan, to escape school. I knew that my house was not that far away and was in fact in walking distance from the school. I also knew that no one would let me into my house since I didn't have the keys. I didn't mind though, I figured that I'll just have to wait for my parents to come home from work when I got there.
Weirdly for a 5 year old I knew what security cameras were and how they worked, so I had a solution to that too. Near the water table (A table filled with water that you could play in) I figured that there sould be a bucket to fill it with, and since clear plastic containers were the cheapest I figured that I could hide my face with the bucket, and since the bucket is somwhat transparent I could see a little through it, no one would know that it was me and I could go to phase 2 of the plan.
I knew that there was a sliding glass door at the end of the room where to babies sleep and on the other side of that door is the play area with a wooden fence.
And because I watched the movie Homeward Bound about a billion times I rememberd the scen where the dog Shadow digs under a fence and squeezes though the hole to the other side. I figured that Shadow, as a golden retreiver was larger than me, and if somthing that large can do it so can I. And thus the plan was complete.
So the day to escape finally came, the teacher was dealing with a bunch of loud, roudy toddlers so I sneaked to the water table and checked under it. And as I expected there was a bucket. One problem. The bucket was made of non-transparent bulue plastic and I would have to peek ou from under it to time to time in order to see where I was going. But I figured it was better than nothing so I went to the classroom door and quietly sneaked out to the hallway.
I ran down with the bucket sheilding my face, I forgot where the baby room was so I accedentally open the wrong door. I then saw a teacher feeding a baby what looked like mini wheats. I saw that the wheats looked greenish and the theacher/caregiver looked at me with a crazed smile. She then said "Want to eat with us?".
Scared of this psyco looking woman I yelled "NO" and slammed the door and ran the other direction down the hall. I then finally found the door to the baby room.
I tiptoed through the room like it was a minefeild, I knew that one mishap and I would wake the babies, they would cry, the caregiver would arrive and I would be caught. And the caregiver did arrive.
She walked into the room and asked why I was there.
"I'm getting some fresh air" I replied hopeless at this point.
"Okay then. Make sure to come back inside" she then said and then cared for the baby and walked out of the room.
I was relived that somhow that worked and I continued to tiptoe through the minefeild of sleeping babies.
Finally over what felt like hours I got to the sliding door and I went outside. I then went to the fence and started to dig a hole.
I then heard voices and I frantically dug, knowing what this meant. I then squeezed myself through the hole I dug, but it was too late. The teachers grabbed me by my legs and started to pull me out. Which wasn't pleasent because they were taller than me and thus my back started scaping against the fence. I yelled to them to stop because my back started to get scratched up but they didn't listen and pulled me out.
I knew that I was in big trouble.
I then found myself in the principals office after school, sitting on the floor with a bloody scrached back. My parents came and after the principal called them about me running down the hall with a bucket on my head. And very seriously the pricipal showed them the security cam footage.
Dad said that at the time he tried to hold in his laughter.
And that's the end of the story.